Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The whole story....starting from way back in March!

WOW! I mean total shock is not even the words to describe how I am feeling right now! PREGNANT…….PREGNANT…… I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!  We are having a THIRD BABY!!!!
Baby C please know you were not an accident!!!! You were very much planned but it seemed our plans were just not coming to fruition!  Month, after month no positive test, and then my period would come.  Daddy and I decided to train for a ½ marathon so we stopped “trying” for a few months.  Not to go into too much detail but my cycles stayed VERY regular. Each month I would have some nausea a day or two before I would start or my period. I tested in January, February, and March and all were negative!  But in March my period would not stop! It drug on for over two weeks and some not so fun things were happening.   The weekend after the ½ marathon, daddy and I ran a 5K and at about mile 2 I wanted to die! The pain was so freaking intense in my stomach I was almost in tears!  Nothing made sense; daddy and I knew something wasn’t right!  I called my OBGYN told them the issues and they said get here! So get there I did; all alone because we figured I was having a/or some cysts rupture. He did an exam and couldn’t detect anything so he decided to do an ultrasound.  Before I entered that room I stopped briefly. ….. I had NEVER been through that door before without it being to see my baby’s heart beat!  I said, Lord please grant me the strength to be strong in here!  She entered some stuff into the computer and then it was time to look at my ovaries.  But before she could even get to them….. I SAW YOU!!! I knew immediately you were a baby….. OUR BABY!  I said WHAT IS THAT?!?!?  And she just stood there stunned and said, I think it’s your baby Mrs. Cowart. I had tears rolling down my face and cried out loudly THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!  She grabbed my hand and cried with me! I was over joyed yet in total shock!  I said……….I must be just like 3 weeks and she said…….OH N O honey pie you are way more than that!  WHAT?!?!?!?! I sat straight up off that table which was NOT pleasant with a vaginal ultrasound wand all up in your business!  I immediately corrected my mistake and laid back down on the table.  She measure and I was over 6 weeks  and then she found your heart beat!!!!!  Oh what a joy, what a wonderful thumping sound!  She went on to look at both my ovaries and found nothing……The next 45 minutes is quite the blur!  I saw my OBGYN again who just laughed.  He said…. Hope you haven’t had a strong drink in the last 2 months and I said NOPE not a drop!  He was a little worried due to all the training I had done while pregnant and all the bleeding and other issues I had been having.  He is going to see us every 2 weeks until we are out of the first trimester.  US…….of yeah US………….I gotta tell your daddy!!! HOW….. What do I say……….he’s is not going to believe me!  And of course as soon as I get to the car he is calling….. avoid call one…………again……….avoid call two.  Uhhhhh I don’t know what to say and whatever I say I don’t want it to be over the phone.  Uhhh call three……. I answer.  I tell him I am fine, I am not going to die, they did find “something” they want to watch closely for the next few weeks.  Daddy said okay…….. You sure there is nothing else, you are being so short and vague.  I told him I was just overwhelmed, I was not going to die and we could talk about it later.  So that was at 11am,…….. I didn’t see him till our lunch date at one.  It was the longest 2 hours ever!!!!  I picked him up at work and drove to the Subway parking lot.  I showed him the picture of my left and right ovary and told them they found nothing but they did find our baby!!!!!!!!!!! Our 6 week old baby!!!!!!!!!!!  He was so quiet, he grabbed the picture out of my hand and just starred at it.  After a few looks, incomplete sentences he couldn’t really get out……. he came around! He just laughed and I laughed!  He said…….boy we never do anything the easy way do we.  Nope we don’t baby C but you are the greatest total surprise of my life! 

There you are.........teeny tiny Baby C!

 Heart rate of 104

3-19-14: Uhhh this last week has been hard in so many ways!!! Reality has sunk in, and thoughts are constantly racing through my mind.  I go from being happy to bawling my eyes out.  Your daddy has been a steady rock for me and I am so VERY thankful for him.  Long story short……when my doctor and I were talking he said all the bleeding and other issues I had could be from 1) a cyst rupturing……… but he found no signs of that from my exam 2) There could have been some issues with your placenta due to all the training I was doing for the ½  marathon….but from the ultrasound everything looked fine  and 3) there may have been another baby that just didn’t make it.  He said there was no way to know for sure what really happened but what ever happened was in the past, was over, and couldn't be changed! WOW, you talk about a lot to take in. Talk about instant heart break and pain. There I was all alone trying to process all this and I couldn't stop crying.  He asked me if I wanted him to call Shawn to come up there and I said no. There was nothing he could do at that moment and I didn’t’ want him driving up there upset and/or worried about me. So, He told me to chill out on the running for the next few weeks and take it easy. He said finding a heartbeat lessened our risk of losing you by 10%. TEN PERCENT ….. that meant a 90% chance of losing you……..okay I will take that………. but I would love to have heard 50 or 60 or 100%.  So all that coupled with me just really not feeling pregnant have made me a basket case. I love the Lord and trust 100% in him and his plan for us but that does mean I don’t have my moments.  I started praying ….Lord please give me a sign or a feeling that everything is okay. Well………….ask and you shall receive. YIKES the nausea finally kicked in and gracious sakes alive it has kicked my butt. I think I went three days without eating. NOTHING sounds good, everything makes me sick except VERY cold ice water and peppermints.  I eat about 40 peppermints/day.  I lost 3 pounds, gained 1 then lost 3 more .  What a rollercoaster… but I will TAKE IT!!!!!!!! 

3-28-14; Well we are over 8 weeks in and it’s my birthday! You are still making me nauseous as heck! But I take that as a good sign!!! And man my boobs are killing me this week! We have are next two week checkup next week and I can’t wait! I am ready to check on you and make sure you are A-OK baby C! This week Kinley said…. Mommy Is there a baby in your tummy? I said I don’t know; we just need to keep praying there is.  She looked at me and said, I am tired of praying, there is already a baby In your tummy! YIKES…….how did she know,lol! I can’t wait to tell her and Micah-Claire that there is a baby in my tummy! They are both going to be such GREAT big sisters!  You have been causing me to have the strangest dreams these last week!

4-2-14: TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow we go see the doctor and check on you! I am a flipping basket case!  Daddy said he is really ready to go because he still isn’t sure I am telling him the truth; he jokingly says you I have been pulling his leg these last 3 weeks! He says he has a feeling you are a boy and I don’t have a feeling one way or the other but this pregnancy is TOTALLY different than my other two. I am craving meat, salty things, bean burritos! I ate Taco bell twice this week…….that’s more thatn I have eaten there in the last 5 years!! 

4-3-14: The day was finally here!!! Daddy and I headed to Hot Springs. It was a pretty quiet  card ride with lots of hand holding!  I peed in the cup, I weighed in, I got my blood pressure  checked and waited over 30 minutes to finally see Dr. C!  Finally he got to us…….He said if today’s ultrasound went well we will be down to a 2% risk of miscarriage. All our lab work came back great and I have had no issues so he expected good news today.  Uhh the long walk to the ultrasound room……. And that lady has to enter in a ton of mess into the computer and then finally gets to us!  She has an issue finding you at first because my uterus is still so tilted back……..but she finds you and then BOOM there is your heart beat…….. Your amazingly strong heart beat………….185beats per minute………..WAY up from the last time!!!!!!! She was handing me a Kleenex  before I even realized I was crying.  Daddy leaned in and held me.  Such a great moment; one I pray I never forget!  She measured you all up and said everything looks grand folks! So back to see Dr. C who was pumped and said we were as much in the clear as we can be!!!!!!!!!!!  He will see us in 4 four weeks and at that visit we should be able to hear your heat beat with the hand Doppler they use.  WOW, what a great day filled with great news!  We are still keeping you a secret…………well I have told one person and that is it…………but other than that the world has no idea you exist yet!  We have no idea how or when we will tell people; we are brain storming but have no definite plans yet.  You are so teeny tiny but loved so greatly baby C!   The Good Lord gave you us for a reason and you have made it through some difficult times/situations so I know the Lord has great plans for you and your life! 
4-16-14: You are 11 weeks old!  My nausea has pretty much stopped, thank you LORD!!!!  My back pain has subsided more the most part!  There are still some days when out of know where it hits me…….I am pregnant!  There is a tiny tiny baby in my tummy!!! This week you finally caused a little bump!  Since the Doctor allowed, I am back to running about 3 times a week now!!!  Since I am breathing for two now my time has slowed down some but that a-okay!  Lauren has talked me into running a 10K with her two weeks. I can’t believe the last time I ran a 5k and a Half Marathon you were with me! This will be our first race together that I actually knew of!!!!
Look at you baby C! Heart rate jumped to 185 beats per minute!  I am one happy mommy!!!!

4-17-14 9:45 pm Aunt Paige text me…..Are you up she says?  Yes I say.  Then came the text……. Are you pregnant?!?  OMG what do I say. I hate lying but we are just not ready to tell yet.  I say ME???? IDK!!! Did you dream I was??? She replies…….No ,  I just have a full happy heart  and I think you are.  I turned the question around and asked if she was.  After a few more text..… she say okay, but I think your lying to your Aunt!  YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sorry Aunt Paige!!!!!

4-20-14: 5:11pm.  HAPPY EASTER baby C!!!! You are 11 ½ weeks now and still only me, daddy, and one friend of mine know………Well and Aunt Paige thinks she knows,lol!  For the last 40 days I have given up sweets and Diet Coke (which is my absolute favorite thing in the world).  We today you got loaded up on Diet Coke and some chocolate cake!  I was in heaven so I am sure you are too!  We are thinking about breaking the new of YOU on Mother’s Day………only about 3 weeks till the world knows all about you!!!!!!! 

4-30-14: Wooo hoooo 13 weeks! This is the last week in the first trimester!!! This time next week we will officially be into the 2nd trimester! I am so hoping the second trimester is better and easier than the first. I have had EVERY pregnancy symptom possible except hemorrhoids! Sunday night I had to take tums to be able to sleep! OMG I have never taken tums in my life but thank you from the bottom of my heart to who ever invented it because it’s AMAZING!!!!  Not this weekend but next your big sisters will know all about you as will our families!!! Tomorrow we go for our monthly visit with Dr. C and we will get to hear your sweet heart beat!!!! I can’t wait!!!!!!!!! If you are a boy you name is set…………if you are a girl………I have not a clue what your name will be.  We have some we like but just can’t settle on one yet.  Oh well we will have plenty of time to decide if you are a girl!

5-1-14: I have had 3 friends who recently made it to 13 weeks and then went back for the Doppler and no heart beat was found.  As much as I was ready for today I was dreading it little too. When the tech started to try and find your heart rate she stopped and said………okay it might take me a minute to find the heart beat so don’t panic!  Don’t panic……….oh no why would I do that,lol! But she quickly found your heart beat……..thank you Jesus!  Your heart rate was 158-169.  We saw Dr. C and he said all is well we are now just back to visits every 4 weeks.  WOW that was great news but there is still a part of me that is just as nervous as hell!  I don’t know if its since we had such a ruff, scary start, or because I’m older now, or if I seen so many friends loose babies lately. It’s probably a combination of all off the above.   We have a little over a week to keep you a secret………….then all our friends and family will know about you baby C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am ready, I am ready to shout it from the roof tops as loud as I can!!!!!!!